Mi ahijada

A few weeks after arriving here at the Hogar, there was a baptism for the girls who had not yet been baptized. I forget the actual number of how many there were, but I think something like 15 children were baptized. And my site partner and I, along with other volunteers and friends of the Hogar, were selected as the godparents. My goddaughter, or ahijada, is Maria Deysi and she just turned 8 years old.

I was pretty excited to become her godmother in October, and it has only continued to be a great blessing as our relationship is continuing to grow (also, she is just such a special girl). At first, I felt privileged to be her godmother because for my first week here at the Hogar, she was Christ to me. Each day during my first week, she would somehow catch me walking out of my room, or the bathroom, and would give me a big smile and an even bigger hug. For being in a new place, not understanding anyone, and just being overwhelmed... yet waking up to one of Deysi's hugs... was like Christ hugging me each morning, assuring me that 'This is where I want you, and I will provide you with everything you need'.

Deysi has an incredible personality. She is super welcoming to all who come to the Hogar, and there is just something warm and inviting about her. She loves to joke around, and she thinks its hysterical to make fun of my mistakes (this photo was taken at an outing when I stepped in gum, and she laughed for maybe 5 minutes solid). :) She is quick to laugh with her whole face from deep within. And she loves freely.

However, right now my ahijada is in Boston recovering from surgery at the Shriner's Hospital. When she was still an infant, she suffered extreme burns on her face and hands. Her mother had left Deysi, along with her 2 and 4 year old brothers in their lean-to, in search for food. While she was gone, an ember from the dying fire made its way up to the tarp roof, which quickly caught fire. By the grace of God, Deysi covered her eyes with her little hands, with the rest of her body in a blanket. The severe burns on her face and hands are from the melting tarp dripping onto her skin.

Only in certain moments does she become aware that she is different than the other girls. And as she is growing older, she is starting to become more self-conscience (I am told that this only started this year). When we were preparing Deysi for her Baptismal gown, one of the Madres commented on the possiblity of her traveling to the States for a free surgery with the Shriners, and as the Madre touched Deysi's face, Deysi looked up at me with the most heart-wrenching eyes: it was as if she thought I hadn't seen her burn scars until that moment... and that I might not love her anymore.

But God is so good, and He arranged for the free surgery, along with gifted flight tickets, for Deysi to have a series of surgeries done on her face and hands. The first surgery was March 28th, and it was the first of 2 or 3 visits. Before arriving in Boston, Deysi enjoyed many little adventures with our American nun, Madre Anita. At first, when I heard about all of the great things Deysi was going to be doing, I couldn't help but have a twinge of pain in my heart. Because I can just imagine her expressions, with the general awe she has about the world around her - to be present to watch her face as she saw the ocean for the first time, for the flight, for the forest of New York City! How amazing that would be! (Regardless of me not being able to share these things with her, what a treat for Madre Anita to be a mother one-on-one for such a period of

time!)

Although in these emotions, and in having to say goodbye to her for a 3-month stay in the States, I realized that I had only sipped from the Chalice of suffering that my parents must drink from - must feel for me and my sisters. And the inescapable fact that children grow up and you have to

let go. But also, thoughts, questions came to me about when I am the one leaving these girls behind, His girls behind... I already dread these goodbyes and the deeper pangs of love that will surely pierce my heart.

(Of what I know, Deysi's surgery went well, and it was a minor surgery, with the next visit being the major surgery. If anyone wants to read more of her American adventures, there is a blog at: thedeysidiaries.blogspot.com.)